Naughty SMS

A man said his doctor ”everytime I look in the mirror I get an erection” the doctor said ”That”s because u look like a cunt!

Roses are red, violets are blue, I was born smart & handsome, but what the hell happend to you?

Today its cool to have small cars and small computers.Soon it will be cool to have a small penis too.then you my friend will be THE MAN!!

I”m popey the sailorman, I”m member of the klu klux clan, when I pull the triger, I kill a fuc***g nigger. I”m popey the sailor man, toet toet.

Wat”s the diff between pulling a curtain and a panty? ANS: When U pull a curtain, it means tat the show is over but when u pull a panty the show begins..

Jesus says to John come forth ill give you eternal life. John came fifth he won a toaster

At dis moment in time million people r having sex. million people r drinking coffee. million people r sleeping & stupid fool is reading my text!pass on

Im not under d affluence of incohol as some tinkle peep.Im not half as thunk as u drink.I fool so feelish and da drunker i stand here da longer i get

I have the I”.I have the “L”.I have the “O”.I have the “V”.I have the “E”… so pls”

You don”t know the meaning of the word fear” – but then again you don”t know the meaning of most words.”

Are you free tonight, or will it cost me? I”m new in town, can you give me directions to your flat?

I”ve been arrested for bein the ugliest person in Britain, can u cum down the police station and show them it”s a mistake?

Clouds r white but the sky is blue,monkey like u should b kept in the zoo, dont get angry ull find me there too,not in the cage but laughing at u. ha! ha! hav
A man can kiss his wife goodbye. A flower can kiss a butterfly.Wine can kiss a frosted glass.But u my friend can kiss my ass!

Santa ke bagiche mein bahut sare ped – paude thay, Santa naukar ko bola ped-paudon ko pani dal.
Naukar: Sahab baarish ho rahi hai.
Santa: Abe to Chatri leke dal.
Pappu while filling up a form: What should I write against mother tongue.?
Santa: Very long…..!

Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller?
Pappu: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl.